Pinwheel of Death

Joan Morris


SONGS

Writers William Bolcom

Genres Standard, Classical, Children-Novelty, Food

Recorded 2005

Lyrics spoken throughout - pitches ad lib:
LADIES,
THE MINUTES
WILL SOON BE READ TODAY,
THE GARDEN CLUB
AND WEAVING CLASS
IM SURE HAVE MUCH TO SAY...
BUT NEXT WEEK
IS OUR CULTURE NIGHT,
OUR BIGGEST,
BEST EVENT,
AND IVE JUST MADE A DISH
FOR IT
YOU'LL ALL FIND HEAVEN SENT!

ITS MY LIME JELLO MARSHMALLOW COTTAGE CHEESE SURPRISE
WITH SLICES OF PIMENTO,
YOU WONT BELIEVE YOUR EYES,
ALL TOPPED WITH A PINEAPPLE RING
AND A DASH OF MAYONNAISE,
MY VANILLA WAFERS
ROUND THE EDGE
WILL WIN YOUR HIGHEST PRAISE.
AND MISSUS JONES
IS MAKING SCONES
THAT ARE FILLED
WITH PEANUT MOUSSE
TO BE FOLLOWED
BY A CHICKEN MOLD
THAT'S MADE
IN THE SHAPE
OF A GOOSE.
FOR LADIES
WHO MUST WATCH THOSE POUNDS
WE'VE FOUND A SPECIAL DISH:
STRAWBERRY ICE
ENSHRINED IN RICE
WITH BITS OF TUNA FISH.
AND MY LIME JELLO MARSHMALLOW COTTAGE CHEESE SURPRISE
TRULY A CREATION
THAT DESCRIPTION DEFIES
WILL GO SO WELL
WITH MISSUS BELL'S
CREATION OF THE WEEK:
SHRIMP SALAD
TOPPED WITH CHOCOLATE SAUCE
AND GARNISHED WITH A LEEK.
AND MISSUS PERKINS
WALNUT LOAF
THAT'S CROWNED
WITH MELTED CHEESE
WAS SUCH A HIT
LAST CULTURE NIGHT,
WE ASK:
NO SECONDS PLEASE!
NOW YOU MUST TRY
HER HOT DOG PIE
WITH CANDIED MUSHROOM SLICES...
THOSE LADIES
WHO RESIGNED LAST YEAR,
THEY JUST DON'T KNOW
WHAT NICE IS!

BUT MY LIME JELLO MARSHMALLOW COTTAGE CHEESE SURPRISE,
I DID NOT STEAL THAT RECIPE,
ITS LIES,
I TELL YOU,
LIES!

OUR GRAND AWARD:
A PICTURE HAT
AND A SALMON SEQUINED GOWN
FOR ANY GIRL
WHO TRIES EACH DISH
AND KEEPS HER WHOLE LUNCH DOWN.

I'M SURE YOU ALL ARE WAITING
FOR THE BIGGEST NEWS:
DESERT!
WE'VE THOUGHT OF THINGS
IN MOLDS AND RINGS
YOUR DIET TO SUBVERT.
YOU MUST TRY
OUR CHOCOLATE LAYER CAKE
ON A PEANUT BRITTLE BASE
WITH SLICES OF BANANAS
THAT MAKE A FUNNY FACE.
AROUND THE EDGES PEPPERMINTS
JUST SWIMMING IN PEACH CUSTARD,
WITH LOVELY LITTLE CURLICUES
OF LOVELY YELLOW MUSTARD!
IF ALL THIS
IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU,
PERMIT ME TO ADVISE
MORE LIME JELLO MARSHMALLOW COTTAGE CHEESE SURPRISE!
IVE MADE HEAPS!
Writers William Bolcom

Genres Classical

Recorded 1994

Lyrics Text by Donald Hall:

IN THE PANTRY
THE DEAR DENSE CHEESES,
CHEDDAR
AND HARSH LANCASHIRE,
GORGONZOLA
WITH ITS MAGNANIMOUS MANNER
THE CLIPPED SPEECH
OF ROQUEFORT
AND A HEAD OF STILTON
THAT SPEAKS
IN A SENSUOUS
RIDDLING TONGUE
LIKE DRUIDS.

O CHEESE!
O CHEESE!

CHEESES OF GRAVITY,
CHEESES OF WISTFULNESS,
CHEESES THAT WEEP
CONTINUALLY
BECAUSE THEY KNOW
THEYLL DIE.
CHEESES OF VICTORY,
CHEESES WISE IN DEFEAT,
CHEESES FAT AS A CUSHION,
LOLLING IN BED TILL NOON.

LIEDERKRANZ EBULLIENT,
JUMPING LIKE A SMALL DOG,
NOISY
FONT LEVEQUE INTELLECTUAL,
AND QUITE WELL INFORMED
EMMENTALER
DECENT AND LOYAL,
A LITTLE DEAF
IN THE RIGHT EAR
AND BRIE
THE REVEALING EXPERIENCE,
INSTANTANEOUS
AND PROFOUND.

REBLOCHON
OPENLY SEXUAL
CAERPHILLY
LIKE PINE TREES,
SMALL AT THE TIMBERLINE
FORT DU SALUT IN LOVE
CAPRICE DES DIEUX,
ELOQUENT,
TACTFUL
LIKE A THOUSAND YEAR-OLD
HOSTESS
AND DOLCELATTE,
ALWAYS GENEROUS
TO A FAULT.

O VILLAGE OF CHEESES,
I MAKE YOU THIS POEM
OF CHEESES,
O FAMILY OF CHEESES
LIVING TOGETHER
IN PANTRIES,
O CHEESES
THAT KEEP
TO YOUR OWN NATURE,
LIKE A LUCKY COUPLE,
THIS SOLITUDE,
THIS ENERGY,
THESE BODIES
SLOWLY DYING.
TERRITORIAL RESTRICTIONS
MAY APPLY TO THIS TITLE.

Writers Ernest R. Ball, J.J. Walker

Genres Standard, Seasons

Recorded 1976

Lyrics NOW IN THE SUMMER OF LIFE,
SWEETHEART,
YOU SAY YOU LOVE BUT ME,
GLADLY I GIVE ALL MY HEART
TO YOU,
THROBBING WITH ECSTASY.
BUT LAST NIGHT
I SAW WHILE A-DREAMING,
THE FUTURE OLD AND GRAY,
AND I WONDERED
IF YOU'LL LOVE ME THEN DEAR,
JUST AS YOU DO TODAY?

YOU SAY THE GLOW ON MY CHEEK,
SWEETHEART,
IS LIKE THE ROSE SO SWEET,
BUT WHEN THE BLOOM
OF FAIR YOUTH HAS FLOWN,
THEN WILL OUR LIPS STILL MEET?
WHEN LIFE'S SETTING SUN
FADES AWAY, DEAR,
AND ALL IS SAID AND DONE,
WILL YOUR ARMS STILL ENTWINE
AND CARESS ME,
WILL OUR HEARTS BEAT AS ONE?

WILL YOU LOVE ME IN THE DECEMBER
AS YOU DO IN MAY,
WILL YOU LOVE ME
IN THE GOOD OLD FASHIONED WAY?
WHEN MY HAIR
HAS TURNED ALL GRAY,
WILL YOU KISS ME THEN AND SAY,
THAT YOU LOVE ME IN DECEMBER
AS YOU DO IN MAY?