| Lyrics | BLESS THIS DAY,
PINNACLE OF LIFE,
HUSBAND JOINED TO WIFE.
THE HEART LEAPS UP
TO BEHOLD
THIS GOLDEN DAY.
TODAY IS FOR AMY,
AMY, I GIVE YOU
THE REST OF MY LIFE.
TO CHERISH
AND TO KEEP YOU,
TO HONOR YOU
FOREVER,
TODAY IS FOR AMY,
MY HAPPILY
SOON-TO-BE WIFE.
PARDON ME,
IS EV'RYBODY THERE?
BECAUSE
IF EV'RYBODY'S THERE,
I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL
FOR COMING TO THE WEDDING.
I'D APPRECIATE YOUR GOING
EVEN MORE,
I MEAN,
YOU MUST HAVE LOTS
OF BETTER THINGS TO DO
AND NOT A WORD OF IT
TO PAUL.
REMEMBER PAUL?
YOU KNOW,
THE MAN
I'M GONNA MARRY,
BUT I'M NOT
BECAUSE I WOULDN'T
RUIN ANYONE AS WONDERFUL
AS HE IS
BUT I THANK YOU ALL
FOR THE GIFTS A
AND THE FLOWERS.
THANK YOU ALL,
NOW IT'S BACK
TO THE SHOWERS.
DON'T TELL PAUL,
BUT I'M NOT
GETTING MARRIED TODAY.
BLESS THIS DAY,
TRAGEDY OF LIFE,
HUSBAND YOKED TO WIFE.
THE HEART SINKS DOWN
AND FEELS DEAD
THIS DREADFUL DAY.
LISTEN EV'RYBODY,
LOOK,
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE WAITING FOR.
A WEDDING?
WHAT'S A WEDDING?
IT'S A PREHISTORIC RITUAL
WHERE EV'RYBODY PROMISES
FIDELITY FOREVER
WHICH IS MAYBE
THE MOST HORRIFYING WORD
I EVER HEARD,
AND WHICH IS FOLLOWED
BY A HONEYMOON
WHERE SUDDENLY
HE'LL REALIZE
HE'S SADDLED
WITH A NUT
AND WANNA KILL ME
WHICH HE SHOULD,
SO LISTEN,
THANKS A BUNCH,
BUT I'M NOT
GETTING MARRIED,
GO HAVE LUNCH
'CAUSE I'M NOT
GETTING MARRIED,
YOU'VE BEEN GRAND,
BUT I'M NOT
GETTING MARRIED,
DON'T JUST STAND THERE,
I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED,
AND DON'T TELL PAUL,
BUT I'M NOT
GETTING MARRIED TODAY!
GO!
CAN'T YOU GO?
WHY IS NOBODY LISTENING?
GOOD BYE!
GO AND CRY
AT ANOTHER PERSON'S WAKE.
IF YOU'RE QUICK,
FOR A KICK,
YOU COULD PICK UP
A CHRISTENING,
BUT PLEASE,
ON MY KNEES,
THERE'S A HUMAN LIFE
AT STAKE.
LISTEN, EV'RYBODY,
I'M AFRAID
YOU DIDN'T HEAR,
OR DO YOU WANT TO SEE
A CRAZY LADY
FALL APART
IN FRONT OF YOU?
IT ISN'T ONLY PAUL
WHO WILL BE
RUINING HIS LIFE,
YOU KNOW,
WE'LL BOTH OF US
BE LOSING OUR IDENTITIES.
I TELEPHONED MY ANALYST
ABOUT IT
AND HE SAID
TO SEE HIM MONDAY,
BUT BY MONDAY
I'LL BE FLOATING
IN THE HUDSON
WITH THE OTHER GARBAGE.
I'M NOT WELL,
SO I'M NOT
GETTING MARRIED.
YOU'VE BEEN SWELL,
BUT I'M NOT
GETTING MARRIED.
CLEAR THE HALL
'CAUSE I'M NOT
GETTING MARRIED.
THANK YOU ALL,
BUT I'M NOT
GETTING MARRIED,
AND DON'T TELL PAUL,
BUT I'M NOT
GETTING MARRIED TODAY.
BLESS THIS BRIDE,
TOTALLY INSANE,
SLIPPING DOWN THE DRAIN,
AND BLESS THIS DAY
IN OUR HEARTS,
AS IT STARTS TO RAIN.
GO!
CAN'T YOU GO?
LOOK,
YOU KNOW
I ADORE YOU ALL,
BUT WHY WATCH ME DIE
LIKE ELIZA ON THE ICE?
LOOK,
PERHAPS I'LL COLLAPSE
IN THE APSE
RIGHT BEFORE YOU ALL,
SO TAKE BACK THE CAKE,
BURN THE SHOES
AND BOIL THE RICE.
LOOK,
I DIDN'T WANT
TO HAVE TO TELL YOU,
BUT I MAY BE COMING DOWN
WITH HEPATITIS
AND I THINK
I'M GONNA FAINT,
SO IF YOU WANNA
SEE ME FAINT,
I'LL DO IT HAPPILY,
BUT WOULDN'T IT
BE FUNNIER
TO GO
AND WATCH A FUNERAL?
SO THANK YOU
FOR THE TWENTY SEVEN
DINNER PLATES
AND THIRTY SEVEN
BUTTER KNIVES
AND FORTY SEVEN
PAPER WEIGHTS
AND FIFTY SEVEN
CANDLE HOLDERS...
I AM NOT
GETTING MARRIED...
SOFTLY SAID:
BUT I'M NOT
GETTING MARRIED...
WITH THIS RING
STILL I'M NOT
GETTING MARRIED...
I THEE WED.
SEE,
I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED.
LET US PRAY,
AND WE'RE NOTWE ARE
GETTING MARRIED TODAY! |
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