Lyrics | BLESS THIS DAY, PINNACLE OF LIFE, HUSBAND JOINED TO WIFE. THE HEART LEAPS UP TO BEHOLD THIS GOLDEN DAY.
TODAY IS FOR AMY, AMY, I GIVE YOU THE REST OF MY LIFE. TO CHERISH AND TO KEEP YOU, TO HONOR YOU FOREVER, TODAY IS FOR AMY, MY HAPPILY SOON-TO-BE WIFE.
PARDON ME, IS EV'RYBODY THERE? BECAUSE IF EV'RYBODY'S THERE, I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING TO THE WEDDING. I'D APPRECIATE YOUR GOING EVEN MORE, I MEAN, YOU MUST HAVE LOTS OF BETTER THINGS TO DO AND NOT A WORD OF IT TO PAUL. REMEMBER PAUL? YOU KNOW, THE MAN I'M GONNA MARRY, BUT I'M NOT BECAUSE I WOULDN'T RUIN ANYONE AS WONDERFUL AS HE IS BUT I THANK YOU ALL FOR THE GIFTS A AND THE FLOWERS. THANK YOU ALL, NOW IT'S BACK TO THE SHOWERS. DON'T TELL PAUL, BUT I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED TODAY.
BLESS THIS DAY, TRAGEDY OF LIFE, HUSBAND YOKED TO WIFE. THE HEART SINKS DOWN AND FEELS DEAD THIS DREADFUL DAY.
LISTEN EV'RYBODY, LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WAITING FOR. A WEDDING? WHAT'S A WEDDING? IT'S A PREHISTORIC RITUAL WHERE EV'RYBODY PROMISES FIDELITY FOREVER WHICH IS MAYBE THE MOST HORRIFYING WORD I EVER HEARD, AND WHICH IS FOLLOWED BY A HONEYMOON WHERE SUDDENLY HE'LL REALIZE HE'S SADDLED WITH A NUT AND WANNA KILL ME WHICH HE SHOULD, SO LISTEN, THANKS A BUNCH, BUT I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED, GO HAVE LUNCH 'CAUSE I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED, YOU'VE BEEN GRAND, BUT I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED, DON'T JUST STAND THERE, I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED, AND DON'T TELL PAUL, BUT I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED TODAY!
GO! CAN'T YOU GO? WHY IS NOBODY LISTENING? GOOD BYE! GO AND CRY AT ANOTHER PERSON'S WAKE. IF YOU'RE QUICK, FOR A KICK, YOU COULD PICK UP A CHRISTENING, BUT PLEASE, ON MY KNEES, THERE'S A HUMAN LIFE AT STAKE.
LISTEN, EV'RYBODY, I'M AFRAID YOU DIDN'T HEAR, OR DO YOU WANT TO SEE A CRAZY LADY FALL APART IN FRONT OF YOU? IT ISN'T ONLY PAUL WHO WILL BE RUINING HIS LIFE, YOU KNOW, WE'LL BOTH OF US BE LOSING OUR IDENTITIES. I TELEPHONED MY ANALYST ABOUT IT AND HE SAID TO SEE HIM MONDAY, BUT BY MONDAY I'LL BE FLOATING IN THE HUDSON WITH THE OTHER GARBAGE. I'M NOT WELL, SO I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED. YOU'VE BEEN SWELL, BUT I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED. CLEAR THE HALL 'CAUSE I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED. THANK YOU ALL, BUT I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED, AND DON'T TELL PAUL, BUT I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED TODAY.
BLESS THIS BRIDE, TOTALLY INSANE, SLIPPING DOWN THE DRAIN, AND BLESS THIS DAY IN OUR HEARTS, AS IT STARTS TO RAIN.
GO! CAN'T YOU GO? LOOK, YOU KNOW I ADORE YOU ALL, BUT WHY WATCH ME DIE LIKE ELIZA ON THE ICE? LOOK, PERHAPS I'LL COLLAPSE IN THE APSE RIGHT BEFORE YOU ALL, SO TAKE BACK THE CAKE, BURN THE SHOES AND BOIL THE RICE.
LOOK, I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO TELL YOU, BUT I MAY BE COMING DOWN WITH HEPATITIS AND I THINK I'M GONNA FAINT, SO IF YOU WANNA SEE ME FAINT, I'LL DO IT HAPPILY, BUT WOULDN'T IT BE FUNNIER TO GO AND WATCH A FUNERAL? SO THANK YOU FOR THE TWENTY SEVEN DINNER PLATES AND THIRTY SEVEN BUTTER KNIVES AND FORTY SEVEN PAPER WEIGHTS AND FIFTY SEVEN CANDLE HOLDERS... I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED... SOFTLY SAID: BUT I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED... WITH THIS RING STILL I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED... I THEE WED. SEE, I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED. LET US PRAY, AND WE'RE NOTWE ARE GETTING MARRIED TODAY! |