Pinwheel of Death

Paul McKibbins


SONGS

Writers Paul McKibbins, BT McNicholl

Genres Showtune

Recorded 2001

Lyrics LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA.
CAN YOU HEAR IT?
NO, NOT QUITE.
THEN COME
WHERE YOU'LL BE ABLE TO HEAR
CONEY ISLAND TONIGHT!
RIDE THE TUMBLER!
EAT A HOT DOG!
HAVE YOUR PALM READ!
DO IT RIGHT!
I SEE FOR TOMORROW
UNBEARABLE SORROW
UNLESS TONIGHT
YOU RUN TO PLAY
ON THE MIDWAY.
THERE'S THE OCEAN!
I CAN SEE!
THEN, OH, WHAT A SHAME
YOU WON'T GET TO SEE
CONEY ISLAND WITH ME.

BETTY,
IT'S TEMPTING
AND I'D LOVE TO.
IT'S A PITY.
IT'S A SHAME.
IT'S JUST THAT I'VE GOT OTHER...
NOW, DON'T SAY A WORD.
YOU'RE REALLY NOT TO BLAME.
THINGS ARE AS THEY SHOULD BE
AND IT HARDLY SEEMS A CRIME.
NO, YOU GO OUT TO DINNER,
WHILE I HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME!
I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHIN'
THAT EV'RYONE KNOWS,
FROM THE BARKER
TO THE CHILD
WITH HIS MAIDEN AUNT:
IN THE REST OF THE WORLD
YA DO WHAT YA HAFTA,
BUT AT CONEY ISLAND,
YA DO WHAT YOU WANT!

LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA.
GO ON SING IT!
WELL, I MIGHT.
JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES
AND GUESS WHERE WE ARE?
CONEY ISLAND TONIGHT!
TAKE YOUR TIE OFF!
MESS YOUR HAIR UP!
HAVE YOUR PALM READ.
YEAH!
DO IT RIGHT!
OR TAKE A RIDE
ON THE ROLLER COASTER
AND HOLD ME TIGHT...
GET YOUR HANDS UP,
WITH A 'WHEE!'
WITH A WHAT?!
WITH A 'WHEE!'
OH, BOY, WHAT A SHAME
YOU WON'T GET TO SEE
CONEY ISLAND...

WHERE THE HECK
IS THE MIDWAY?
BY THE OCEAN
ON THE RIGHT!
ON THE LEFT!
ON THE RIGHT!
SO PUT OUT THE CAT
'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA SEE
CONEY ISLAND TONIGHT!

STEP RIGHT UP!
STEP RIGHT UP!
TAKE A GANDER AND SEE!
THE FATTEST LADY ALIVE
CAN BE YOURS
FOR ONE THIN DIME.
ONE THIN DIME,
IF YOU'LL PARDON THE PUN!
NINETY SEVEN POUNDS...
THAT'S HER NOSE!
OOH!
NOT TO MENTION
HER TWENTY SEVEN INCH TONGUE!
YUCH!
SPEAK UP!
TEN CENTS!
LET ME HEAR YA!
THERE'S ONE!
TWO!
THREE!

FOR ONCE,
LET'S CHASE ADVENTURE.
SEE THE MIDWAY
BURNING BRIGHT!
SO PUT OUT THE CAT,
AND LEAVE THE SALOON,
AND LOCK UP THE FLAT,
AND SWALLOW THE KEY
'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA SEE
CONEY ISLAND TONIGHT!

A RIDE OF THRILL
AND ADVENTURE!
ON THE COASTER,
HOLD ME TIGHT!
THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE
FOR DARLING
BUT HERE,
CONEY ISLAND TONIGHT!
RIDE THE TUMBLER!
EAT A HOT DOG!
HAVE YOUR PALM READ
ON THE RUN!
WITH US
AT THE SIDESHOW
I KNOW YOU
AND I'D SHOW EM.
FOR ONCE,
LET'S CHASE AN ADVENTURE!
SEE THE MIDWAY
BURNING BRIGHT!
SO PUT OUT THE CAT
AND LEAVE THE SALOON
AND LOCK UP THE FLAT
AND SWALLOW THE KEY,
'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA SEE
CONEY ISLAND TONIGHT!
Writers Paul McKibbins, BT McNicholl

Genres Showtune

Recorded 2001

Lyrics SHE'S FULL OF SURPRISES,
DEVOID OF CLICHE.
NEVER APPALLING,
BUT ALWAYS RISQUE.
NO OTHER BEAUTY
HAS MORE ON DISPLAY!
THIS IS THE GIRL
WHO HAS GOT IT.
SHE ALWAYS AT AUCTION
BUT NEVER OUTBID.
QUICK TO ENTICE YOU
BUT SLOW TO FORBID.
GOOD WITH HER EGO
AND GREAT WITH HER ID!
GIVE ME A GIRL
WHO HAS GOT IT IN SPADES!

WHO CARES FOR A HEAVENLY CREATURE
IF HER BRAIN IS UNEMPLOYED?
STATE OF MIND,
NOT JUST PHYSICAL BEAUTY,
IS WHAT LEAVES 'EM OVERJOYED!
LIKE FREUD SAYS:

IT'S IRRESISTIBLE,
IT HAS A PLAN:
MEN WIN THE LADIES,
AND LADIES THE MAN!
OH, YA KNOW IT
WHEN YA GOT IT.
WHEN YA GOT IT
LET 'EM SEE IT.
WHEN THEY SEE IT
THEY WILL WANT IT.
WHEN THEY WANT IT,
WATCH 'EM FALL!
WHEN YOU'VE GOT IT,
YOU'VE GOT IT ALL!

IS THERE A WOMAN AMONG US
WHO HAS IT
FROM HER TOP TO HER TOES?
IS THERE A WOMAN SO TEMPTING
MEN ARE FOLLOWING
EV'RYWHERE SHE GOES?
COULD IT BE HER?
OR MAYBE HER?
I WANT TO KNOW!
I WANT TO FIND THAT GIRL
WHO'D STOP CITY TRAFFIC
WITH A BAT OF HER EYES.
AND GET MEN SO HOT
THEY HAVE TO LOOSEN THEIR TIES.
A GIRL WHO'D MAKE A JESUIT
GIVE UP ON BEING CELIBATE.

'CAUSE WHEN SHE IS STRUTTIN,
WE'RE HOT ON HER TRAIL.
MEN TAKE A GANDER
AND START TURNING PALE.
MOST OTHER LADIES
WOULD END UP IN JAIL,
BUT GIRLS WITH IT
GET ACQUITTED AT ONCE.

PREPARE FOR
THE WOMAN WHO'S GOT IT.
WE BEGIN OUR SEARCH WITH HOPE.
SOUND THE CALL
FOR AN ARMY OF MEN!
AND I MIGHT EVEN ASK THE POPE!
GOD HELP ME.

FALL INTO LINE
AND WE'LL COVER THE SCENE.
LET'S FIND THE IT GIRL
AND MAKE HER A QUEEN.
OH, YA KNOW IT
WHEN SHE'S GOT IT.
WHEN SHE'S GOT IT
THEN YA SEE IT.
WHEN YA SEE IT
THEN YA WANT IT.
IF SHE'S GOT IT,
WATCH THEM FALL!
LET'S FIND THAT GIRL
WHO'S GOT IT ALL!

YOU'RE ALMOST THERE,
NOW I WANT FLAIR,
THAT SOMEONE RARE
WHO IS THE RIGHTFUL HEIR TO

ALL OF THE SIRENS,
WHO HAD IT LONG AGO:
LIKE LADY GODIVA,
WHO LET ALL OF IT SHOW.
BUT WE'LL FIND ONE
WHO'S ALL THE RAGE,
TO CONSECRATE THE CHARLESTON AGE,
SO SHOUT HALLELUJAH
AND FOLLOW HER PLAN.
YOU'LL GET YOUR LADY
AND YOU'LL GET YOUR MAN.
OH. YA KNOW IT
WHEN YA GOT IT.
WHEN YA GOT IT
LET 'EM SEE IT.
WHEN THEY SEE IT
THEY WILL WANT IT.
WHEN THEY WANT IT,
WATCH 'EM FALL!
WHEN YOU'VE GOT IT,
YOU'VE GOT IT ALL!
YOU'VE GOT IT ALL!
YOU'VE GOT IT ALL!
YOU'VE GOT IT ALL!
YOU'VE GOT IT ALL!
YOU'VE GOT IT ALL!
YOU'VE GOT IT ALL!
YOU'VE GOT IT ALL!
Writers Paul McKibbins

Genres Ballad, Movie Song, Instrumental, Film Music

Recorded 2004

Lyrics [Instrumental]
Writers Paul McKibbins, BT McNicholl

Genres Showtune, Ballad, Children-Novelty, Family

Recorded 2001

Lyrics HUSH,
LITTLE BABE IN MAMA'S ARMS.
YOU HAVE A CRADLE SOFT AND WARM.
LOVE WILL PROTECT YOU
IN WIND AND STORM,
NO NEED TO BE SAD.
DREAM, LITTLE BABE,
IN MAMA'S ARMS.
DAYLIGHT IS GONE
AND NIGHT MUST FALL.
YOU NEED YOUR REST
TO GROW BIG AND TALL
AND HANDSOME LIKE YOUR DAD.

UP IN HEAVEN
THEY'RE DOING ALL THEY CAN
TO MAKE MY WISH COME TRUE,
OH, SEND A MAN
TO SHARE HIS LOVE WITH YOU
AND MAYBE MAMA TOO.
SO, HEAVEN WILL SEND HIM
TO MY ARMS,
SOMEONE
TO START OUR LIVES ANEW.
HOLDING ME TIGHT
AS I'M HOLDING YOU
HERE IN MAMA'S ARMS.
BOTH OF YOU SAFE
AND SECURE WITH ME
HERE IN MAMA'S ARMS.
Writers Paul McKibbins, BT McNicholl

Genres Showtune

Recorded 2002

Lyrics verse 1:
CHARLES WAS AN ARTIST.
A LOVER OF THE LOUVRE.
HE SWORE HIS HEART WAS MINE.
BUT I FOUND HIM WITH MIMI,
A PAINTING PAL FROM PARIS,
ADMIRING HER DESIGN.
SO, I DOCTORED UP
HER SKETCHINGS
WITH SOME ETCHINGS
OF MY OWN.
TO SHOW
HER LACK OF SKILL
AND BREAK HIS HEART!
unpitched patter:
BUT CHARLES LOVED
ze color
AND
ze daring use of shadow.
sung:
SO HE TOOK HER
TO THE LOUVRE
WHERE SHE WAS CROWNED
THE QUEEN OF MODERN ART!

Chorus 1:
I HAD THE PERFECT PLAN
TO LAND THE MAN OF MY DREAMS.
ALTHOUGH IT SEEMS
THAT JUST WHEN
I'M ABOUT TO HEAR
THAT LOHENGRIN SONG,
THE BEST LAID
PERFECT PLAN
GOES WRONG.

verse 2:
EDDIE WAS A DANCER,
A STEP ABOVE ASTAIRE,
BUT HE CHOSE ME
FROM THE GIRLS.
THEN I FOUND HIM
WITH TRINKA,
A BEAUTY
FROM THE BOLSHOI,
ENTANGLED
IN TANGO TWIRLS.
SO TO RUIN HER SENSE
OF RHYTHM
WHEN SHE'S WITH 'M
ON THE STAGE,
I DROPPED A COCKROACH
DOWN THE DRESS SHE'D WORN!
unpitched patter:
HER BODY STARTED JERKING
AND HER FEET BEGAN A-TWISTING,
SO HE BROUGHT HER TO NEW YORK
WHERE SHE STARTED A NEW DANCE.
sung:
AND THAT IS HOW
THE CHARLESTON WAS BORN.

Chorus 2:
I HAD A PERFECT PLAN
TO BAG THE MAN OF MY DREAMS.
ALTHOUGH IT SEEMS
THAT JUST WHEN
THERE'S A CHARMING LITTLE CHAPEL
IN SIGHT,
THE BEST LAID
PERFECT PLAN
GOES RIGHT DOWN THE TOILET!
BUT WHY
SHOULD THAT SURPRISE ME?
I'VE NEVER BEEN TAUGHT
THE GAME OF LOVE.
I LEARNED FRENCH
AT BRYN MAWR,
A MATISSE FROM RENOIR
AND HOW TO USE
A CULTURED TONE.
BUT WHEN IT COMES
TO OTHER WOMEN,
ADVICE WAS RATHER SLIM
'N' SO I LEARNED IT
ON MY OWN.
I WENT TO NIGHT SCHOOL.

verse 3:
LOUIE WAS A LIFEGUARD,
WHO RULED THE RIVIERA.
HE'D WATCH ME FROM THE STAND.
BUT I FOUND HIM WITH LUCY,
A SWIMMER FROM SOUTH HAMPTON,
WHILE BREAST STROKING
IN THE SAND.
SO, TO MAKE HER
LESS ATTRACTIVE
AND LESS ACTIVE
ON THE BEACH,
I SHOWED THEM BOTH
HOW CHEATING LEADS TO WAR.
unpitched patter:
I PUT A HANDSOME ACTOR
IN A TOWEL IN HER BEDROOM.
WHEN LOUIE CAUGHT HIM
IN THERE,
WELL,
I THOUGHT I'D SEE A FIGHT.
BUT INSTEAD,
I SAW THE TOWEL
JUST GO FLYING
OUT THE WINDOW.
sung:
NOW A MAN
WITHOUT HIS CLOTHES,
I LIKE IT FINE,
BUT LOUIS LIKES IT MORE!

Chorus 3:
THANKS
TO MY PERFECT PLAN,
HE FOUND THE MAN
OF HIS DREAMS!
SO WHEN IT SEEMS
SOME HUSSY TRIES
TO BUTT IN
WHERE SHE DOESN'T BELONG,
I WILL STOP HER
WITH A PLAN,
A CUTE,
BUT BRUTAL PLAN,
FOR ONCE,
MY PLAN
WILL NOT GO WRONG.
Writers Paul McKibbins, BT McNicholl

Genres Showtune

Recorded 2001

Lyrics ALTHOUGH SKID ROW
AIN'T NO PARK AVENUE,
PEOPLE STILL SURVIVE.
TO LEARN HOW WE GET BY,
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY
TO STEP INTO OUR SHOES,
THEN STEP OUT IN OUR SHOES.
GO DOWN THE ROAD WE TRUDGE
BEFORE YOU MAKE A JUDGEMENT.
STEP INTO OUR SHOES
AND YOU'RE LI'BLE TO SAY:
WHEN MAKIN' FRIENDS,
WE DISCOVER
YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK
BY IT'S COVER.
SO,STEP INTO OUR SHOES
AND SEE IT OUR WAY.

MY GREAT AUNT MAE
WOULD SING ALL DAY
IN THE SAINT THERESA'S CHOIR.
HER SAINTHOOD, THOUGH,
WAS CAUGHT
ON THE DAY I THOUGHT
TO STEP INTO HER SHOES,
THEN STEP OUT IN HER SHOES.
I FOUND SHE CHANGED HER TUNE
WHEN LIQUORED UP
WITH MOONSHINE!
STEP INTO HER SHOES
AND THEN
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
BY DAY
SHE SEEMS APOSTOLIC,
BY NIGHT
SHE BECOME ALCOHOLIC!
SO, STEP INTO HER SHOES
AND SEE IT HER WAY!

A DAPPER YOUNG SWELL
WITH A VELVET COLLAR,
DRIVES A ROLLS,
AND IS FREE
WITH A DOLLAR.
LOOKS AS IF HE'S SET,
BUT THIS PUP
IS UP
TO HIS BOWLER IN DEBT.
SOME FOLKS
ARE WHAT THEY APPEAR TO BE.
BUT DON'T JUDGE IN ADVANCE,
GIVE 'EM HALF A CHANCE.

TO STEP INTO THEIR SHOES.
AND YOU'RE LI'BLE TO SEE
HOW A FLASHY YOUNG BUCK
MAY BE DOWN ON HIS LUCK.
A BUM FROM THE DOCKS
MAY BE LOADED IN STOCKS.
A MISERLY GRAM'PA
MAY OWN HALF OF TAMPA,
BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW
TILL YA STEP INTO THEIR SHOES
AND SEE IT THEIR WAY.
Writers Paul McKibbins, BT McNicholl

Genres Showtune

Recorded 2001

Lyrics YOU SAY
THAT LOVE'S LIKE DANCIN',
WITH RULES YOU MUST OBEY.
YOU CURTSEY
AND HE LEADS YOU
'ROUND THE FLOOR.
WHAT FOR?
YOUR HEART KNOWS
ALL THE STEPS THAT YA NEED!
SO, LISTEN TO IT BEAT
AND LET IT LEAD THE WAY:

OH, WHY NOT JAZZ UP
THE TICKY TOCK
OF THE TWO STEP
WITH A STEP OF YOUR OWN?
IF YOU FEEL A BEAT
DON'T SIMPLY REPEAT
BUT LISTEN
TO WHAT'S DANCY
IN YOUR FANCIFUL FEET.
OH, I GOT NOTHIN'
BUT FUN
AND RAGGEDY RHYTHMS
EVEN WHEN I'M ALONE.
BUT IF THERE'S A SHEIK
WHO GETS ME CARRIED AWAY,
RICH OR POOR,
DON'T BE SURE
HE WOULDN'T SAY:
OH, WHY NOT JAZZ UP
THE TICKY TOCK
OF THE TWO STEP
WITH A STEP OF YOUR OWN?!

MY FATHER LOVED TO TANGO.
MY MOTHER LOVED TO WALTZ.
YA THINK THAT MEANS
THEY NEVER GOT TO DANCE?
NO CHANCE!
THEY TRADED STEPS
UNTIL THEY COULD FLY!
AND ONCE
THEY FOUND THEIR RHYTHM,
THAT'S WHEN I WAS BORN!

SO, WHY NOT WIND UP
THE WINSOME WAG
OF THE ONE STEP
WITH A STEP OF YOUR OWN?
IF YOU FEEL A BEAT,
DON'T TRY TO COMPETE
BUT JIGGLE TO THE WIGGLE
IN YOUR GIGGLIN' FEET!
OH, I GOT NOTHIN'
BUT FUN
AND RAGGEDY RHYTHMS
EVEN WHEN I'M ALONE.
RUDY VALENTINO
KNOWS WHAT I'M ALL ABOUT.
WATCH HIM PLEAD!
YES, INDEED,
HE'S GONNA SHOUT:
OH, WHY NOT WIND UP
THE WINSOME WAG
OF THE ONE STEP
WITH A STEP OF YOUR OWN?!

OH, I JUST LOVE
TO BE CUTTIN'
RAGGEDY RHYTHMS
EVEN WHEN I'M ALONE...
EVEN WHEN I'M ALONE...
THERE HE GOES,
AND ONCE AGAIN
I'M CARRIED AWAY...
I'M NOT COLD
WHEN I'M BOLD.
I'LL BE HIS SHEBA
AND SAY:
OH, WHY NOT JAZZ UP
THE TICKY TOCK
OF THE TWO STEP
WITH A STEP OF YOUR OWN?
SO WHAT
IF HE'S OUT OF MY REACH?
I'LL NEVER STOP
UNTIL I CAN TEACH HIM
HOW TO DANCE ON HIS OWN.
OH,
WHY NOT DANCE ON YOUR OWN?
Writers Paul McKibbins, BT McNicholl

Genres Showtune, Ballad

Recorded 2001

Lyrics YOU'RE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
IF YOU GO NOW,
I'M SURE TO WANDER ALONE.
THE WINE OF PASSION
WOULD ALL BE WASTED,
FOR NOW, I'VE TASTED YOURS.
AND IT'S THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
YOU'VE POSSESSED ME,
AND NOW YOU'VE MADE ME ALIVE...
IT MAY TAKE A DAY
OR A LIFETIME OR TWO,
BUT I JUST WANT TO BE THE BEST THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU.

THE WINE OF PASSION
WOULD ALL BE WASTED,
FOR NOW, I'VE TASTED YOURS.
AND IT'S THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
LET ME LIVE ON THE GLOW
OF LOVE IN YOUR EYES!
IT MAY TAKE A DAY OR A LIFETIME OR TWO...
BUT I WON'T REST
'TIL I'M THE BEST THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU.
 


Cowriters: BT McNicholl